I don’t get it. Not at all. Not even close.
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Drewan Baird. Oudtshoorn. 28 June 2014. 08h30. In deference to the talented author of one of humanity’s greatest pieces of wisdom literature, Proverbs, in the Bible, I declare myself discombobulated on not three, not four, like Agur the son of Jakeh, who spake even unto Ithiel and Ucal, but on five things…
There be three things which are too wonderful for me, yea, four which I know not: The way of an eagle in the air; the way of a serpent upon a rock; the way of a ship in the midst of the sea; the way of a man with a maid; and why certain people want to do business with Oudtshoorn Municipality.
(Proverbs 30.xviii-ixx, embellished by the current writer.)
Déúr-mé-káár, gehoor, maak dié ding van biesjniesj meddie kounsil vir my.
Much like when language changed on earth. There are most entertaining myths about this occurrence. My favourite is from Polynesia, where a group of people on the island of Hao tell a very similar story to The Bible’s Tower of Babel myth, speaking of a God who, “in anger chased the builders away, broke down the building, and changed their language, so that they spoke diverse tongues”.
I just love the idea of chasing builders away, and messing with their minds, and I mirthfully identify with this particular Polynesian irritation.
In Africa there are stories of gods who speak all languages. Here my favourite is a wonderful little tale of Eshu of the Yoruba, a trickster who is a messenger of the gods. En Eshu het die mense sommer net kom rondf… Tipies.
But I digress, as I am wont.
Why anybody so principled that association with the Oudtshoorn Municipality is to tho ghâstly tho kôntumplyt, after some Vorsterian maxim, want to do business with the selfsame municipality, is beyond me. It, uh… discombobulates me.
Why would selfrespecting lawyers who have concluded that the Lottering Administration is a snitching set of serial spoilers, want to recover bad debt for the administration… so the administration can steal that too!? (If, of course, such lawyers are to be identified. I, for one, can not imagine such lawyers.)
Why would car dealers who openly accuse the Lottering Administration of wrongdoing, sell wheels to councillors and officials – whom the dealers believe received the money for the acquisitions illegitimately!? (If, of course, such dealers are to be identified. I, for one, can not imagine such dealers.)
Why would newpapers who accuse the Lottering Administration of devilry and probably suspect him of personally negotiating the Garden of Eden Apple Deal, want advertising business from the municipality… if the notices and advertisements are issued by an illegitimate administration, using misbegotten money!? (If, of course, such newspapers are to be identified. I, for one, can not imagine such newspapers.)
Why would professional advisers pocket huge fees and proceed to bite the very hand from which they swill!? (If, of course, such advisers are to be identified. I, for one, can not imagine such advisers.)
My problem, of course, is that I am simply not intelligent enough to understand politics. DA Councillor Chris MacPhersson got this right on several occasions: Like Manuel, of Fawlty Towers fame, Ai no naaafing, Mr Faulty.
Or… not to put too fine a point on it, might it be summat as banausic as good, old fashioned, vanilla green mill – loosely associated with greed?