Fisticuffs as the coalition breaks up spectacularly
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Drewan Baird. Oudtshoorn. 1 April 2014. 07h00. Attempts into the small hours this morning, involving even the most senior ANC NEC members, and the presidents of Icosa and the NPP, failed to rescue the Oudtshoorn government that prevailed for 305 days since the DA’s miscarried May 31 coup d’etat.
It is over.
After months of legal and strategic battles of quite stupendous take, the coalition folded this morning when both Icosa and the NPP finally opted to support the DA in the upcoming May 7 general elections.
At the height of the tense talks around 04h00 this morning, mayor Gordon April threw acting MM Ron Lottering across the conference table, calling him what can only be translated as “a scrawny cardboard container”.
General asides on maternal orifices were at the order during the negotiations.
NPP president Badih Chaaban was offered a Western Cape cabinet post – by all indications the public safety portfolio; and Icosa’s Jeffrey Donson will head a new directorate for women’s rights in the Western Cape.
Hardy Mills, who acted for the municipality in the battle since May 31, will replace Koos Cilliers in the premier’s office.
I am quite relieved to have been offered a position in local government and will henceforth be the DA’s point person in all the failed Gauteng local governments after the DA takes Gauteng on May 7.
April will tomorrow hand over his mayoral chain to visiting DA leader Helen Zille in a ceremony reminiscent of the Battle of Alesia, where Vercingetorix surrendered to Caesar.
Happy April Fools’ Day, me hearties!
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