Ag pleez Helen won’t you take us to the cleaners

… All six, seven of us, eight, nine, ten…*
The Leeuwenhof Meeting – surprise, surprise: Oudtshoorn fleeced
In a word: scrofulous

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Drewan Baird. Oudtshoorn. 18 August 2013. 09h00. So, yesterday’s DA Fedex meeting turned out to have been mostly about Oudtshoorn.

Scrofulous, adj. morally contaminated. That is the word that comes to mind.

And Jeremy Taylor’s little gem* from my childhood.

If the three seperate concurring insider reports that reached me within an hour of the conclusion of the Leeuwenhof swindle is as true as the informants are reliable, Oudtshoorn lost. Again. As did Eden.

My information was confirmed by the reaction of Oudtshoorn’s DA MP, Jac Bekker, who told me, in a friendly manner, that he was as unable to comment as he was surprised by the completeness of my information.

What I know I will not immediately share as it can be used by my clients in an ongoing dispute.

I subsequently sms’d Helen Zille to no response.

I asked Bekker how Eastern Cape Councillor Stanford Slabbert could have been stripped op his party membership for the circulation of an offensive and racist email**, while Wessie van der Westhuizen and the Oudtshoorn DA caucus members remain untouched – but for the poor Pierre Nel, who is again the DA’s fall guy in the current Constitutional Court con scandal.

Ye gods and faeries, is Van der Westhuizen teflon coated!?

Wessie Polytetrafluoroethylene van Der Westhuizen!?

Bekker replied that he too did not necessarily understand “hoe sekere manne se boeke so maklik skoongemak word nie” – how the books of certain people are so readily sanitized.

Van der Westhuizen convinced the DA’s highest authority, the Federal Executive, that there is a conspiracy against him… a conspiracy no less.

According to Teflon Wessie, Eden Municipal Manager Godfrey Louw; Speaker Doris Nayler; MMC Johann Koegelenberg; and MMC Tertuis Simmers are conspiring against him and that no fair trial is probable in the circumstances.

Get this: In addition to several serious complaints***, the renowned level 3 BBBEE forensic investigative firm, ENS – Edward Nathan Sonnenbergs – found sufficient evidence to declare Wessie culpable of fraud, falsification, and uttering… but the wise people of the DA Fedex grant Teflon Wessie the benefit of an internal political conspiracy as a counter.

This is the same convocation of perspicacious wusses who recently bought Ben van Wyk’s pathetic excuse that he was himself conned into the attempted conning of the ratepayers of Oudtshoorn out of some R4.5m in the unconscionable Pierre Nel v Oudtshoorn Municipality “settlement”.

Poor Ben, an ex SANDF colonel and business owner was “conned” into believing that he was indeed the legitimate mayor of Oudtshoorn, leading a DA government… and the Fedex bought the story!

About yesterday’s Leeuwenhof conclusion a senior DA member – and several of them talk to me daily – told me: “En die donirs glo vir Wessie! Ek kan dit net nie glo nie!” (And the bastards believe Wessie! I simply can’t believe it!”)

Ye gods and faeries and the daddy of the three Princes of Serendip and the entire corpus of dramatis personae in the entire canon of fairy tales to date… are you shitting me!?

There can be only one single, attrocious reason for the impuissance of the Fedex: We will unfalteringly act on principle… unless it costs us power somewhere.

Trust to the DA!?

If you are fleeceable, yes!

How about this one: In a recent investigation into the probable buying of the five rogue ANC councillors who defected on May 31, DA Western Cape “deputy” leader and party head of government business Theuns Botha played a recording of a discussion where such payments were NOT MENTIONED.

Proof sufficient for the DA!

Ye gods and faeries and all mythological monsters of the ages!

Ye gods and faeries!

Things are now HISM – helemal in sy moer (wholly fouled up).

We will unfalteringly act on principle… unless it costs us power somewhere.

What think you, my longsuffering readers, would have been Helen Zille’s reaction if an ANC mayor did what Wessie did – not what Wessie is accused of having done, but what Wessie did?

Anybody?

Of course Wessie has not yet been found guilty of any misdemeanor, because the complaints against Teflon Wessie can not be heard for dodging and procedural prestidigitation.

If you are prepared to have the DA in control of, say, some forgotten longdrop in Kaokoland, or near Sesriem, say, dug during the Dorslandtrek, be my guest. I, for one, think the DA is a despicable conglomeration of political Tartuffes (after the protagonist in Molière’s famous theatrical comedy of the same name) and snake oil vendors, and can not be trusted with managing a beach in Bloemfontein.

So indescisive is the DA’s leading body that there is now consideration to have the next Oudtshoorn council meeting postponed – until the disciplinary mess can be covered… and to allow more time for the DA to sort out which of the grabbers will be allocated the positions of mayor, deputy mayor and speaker, and who will be given positions on the mayco.

No, we are not talking about the ANC; we are talking of the meretriciously virginal DA. Ye gods, this political hymen had been compromised so often that the contiguous pudendum muliebre now resembles a black hole slurping every ethic.

The DA, having “taken control” of the council on May 31 (it didn’t); and having “won control” on August 7 (it has only 12 seats, mind); and having demanded a s29 council meeting on August 14 (it did?) now is apparently fixing to have the taking of control postponed in an attempt to settle its internal strife and discipline.

O boy, I can’t wait for the DA to finally “rescue” Oudtshoorn – can you!?

Within three weeks of not being in control of Oudtshoorn, the DA cost ratepayers some R6m – R4.5m in the settlement con, and some R1.5m in avoidable legal costs.

Ye gods, my longsuffering beauties, if the DA can violate Oudtshoorn to such a horrifying extent in a matter of days when NOT in power, imagine, if you can, what the DA will do to Oudtshoorn if it gains actual control!?

In all reasonableness – would YOU buy a used car from this lot?

I know I will.

And I’ll gift it to Wessie.
_______________

* After Jeremy Taylor’s 1961 classic:
Ag pleez Deddy won’t you take us to the drive-in
All six, seven of us, eight, nine, ten
We wanna see a flick about
Tarzan an’ the Ape-men
An’ when the show is over you can bring us back again

Chorus:
Popcorn, chewing gum, peanuts an’ bubble gum
Ice cream, candy floss an’ Eskimo Pie
Ag Deddy how we miss
Nigger balls an’ licorice
Pepsi Cola, ginger beer
and Canada Dry

Ag Pleez Deddy won’t you take us to the fun-fair
We wanna have a ride on the bumper-cars
We’ll buy a stick of candy floss
And eat it on the Octopus
Then we’ll take the rocket ship that goes to Mars

Chorus

Ag pleez Deddy won’t you take us to the wrestling
We wanna see an ou called Sky High Lee
When he fights Willie Liebenberg
There’s gonna be a murder
‘Cos Willie’s gonna donner that blerrie yankee

Chorus

Ag pleez Deddy won’t you take us off to Durban
It’s only eight hours in the Chevro-lay
There’s spans of sea an’ sand an’ sun
And fish in the aquari-yum
That’s a lekker place for a holi-day

Chorus

Ag Pleez Deddy – VOETSEK!

Ag sis Deddy if we can’t kraak to bioscope
Or go off to Durban, life’s a heng of a bore
If you won’t take us to the zoo
Then what the heck else can we do
But go on out and moere all the oukies next door

Chorus
_______________

** DA Eastern Cape leader Athol Trollip reports:

14 August 2013

DA ECape leader says councillor violated party constitution by circulating racist email (Aug 13)

DA COUNCILLOR STRIPPED OF PARTY MEMBERSHIP OVER RACIST EMAIL

The DA has concluded a comprehensive disciplinary process whereby charges were laid against Councillor Stanford Slabbert for the circulation of an offensive and racist email. This gave rise to a disciplinary hearing attended by Cllr Slabbert and the legal representative defending him, with the DA providing a prosecution and a disciplinary hearing panel.

The recommendation by the Provincial Disciplinary Council was that Cllr Slabbert’s party membership be terminated after he was found guilty of contravening clauses 2.5.3.4, 2.5.3.5 and 2.5.3.6 of the DA Federal Constitution. This was confirmed by the Provincial Executive Committee.

In terms of the Federal Constitution any member, including a public representative, is guilty of misconduct if he or she:

2.5.3.4 fails to carry out his or her duties or responsibilities according to standards set by the Federal Council of the Party or of the relevant Provincial or Regional Council as embodied in the applicable Code of Conduct, or to standards required by any statutory rules of conduct required by the public office he or she holds;

2.5.3.5 brings the good name of the Party into disrepute or harms the interests of the Party;

2.5.3.6 acts in a manner that is unreasonable and detrimental to internal co-operation within the Party;

The actions by Mr. Slabbert are contrary to the values of the DA and are condemned in the strongest manner.
_______________

*** Here it is, again, not that the DA would take any real notice…

Die plaaslike DA-voorbok, die DA se uitvoerende burgemeester van Eden, Wessie van der Westhuizen, het sedert 2011 dit nog nie reggekry om die bevindings van die KPMG-Verslag uit te voer nie.

Netstar-data dui op verregaande misbruik van die Eden-burgemeestersvoertuig.

Die George Lêer-skandaal lees soos ‘n sleg sepie: ‘n Dreigende Van der Westhuizen en vroulief en seun dra sakke vol munisipale lêers weg.

Van der Westhuizen bied posvlak 5-poste aan om ANC-raadslede vir ondersteuning te vergoed.

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10 thoughts on “Ag pleez Helen won’t you take us to the cleaners

  1. Andrew, ek kannie wag nie man! Dit is so ‘n mooi stukkie wetgewing daai. ‘n Mens hoop net die vervolgingsgesag gebruik dit reg en haak al die grootvisse ook nader. Die wat geweet het of moes geweet het en fokol gedoen het.

    Die korrupsie hotline is net ‘n foefie soos al die ander korrupsie hotlines wat ons al sien kom en gaan het. En by the way, Wessie word nie “verdink” van korrupsie nie,, dit is onomwonde bewys dat hy dit wel gepleeg het. No hotline needed as die bewyse almal daar is en in die algemene kennis is.

    Miskien moet ‘n mens die hotline toets deur die ENS verslag aan hulle te fax en sien wat gebeur… So ‘n steekproefie..,.

    Ek hou asem op.

  2. Willempie ek wag vir die regte geleentheid en ek sal definitief ook vir Jac Bekker, Zille en Theodoris Wakegford-bRown Nayler (Eden Speaker) en Godfrey Louw (munisipale Bestuurder) by hierdie aangeleentheid betrek aangesien hulle nou al vir sewe maande bewus is van die bedrog en vervalsing en hulle versuim het om die aangeleentheid by die SAPD aanhangig te maak. Hulle is mos bewus van die bepalings van die Prevention of Corrupt Activities Act! Die is bloot besig om korrupsie onder sy eie geledere onder die mat te vee. Ek merk dat Eden Distriksmunisipaliteit nou ‘n anti-korrupsie hotline het, nou vra ek myself af wat is die doel van hierdie hotline as hulle eie burgemeester verdink word van korrupsie en geen finger verroer word om ‘n kriminele klag teen hom te le nie.

  3. O!O covered this story in September 2012. A year ago.

    Dis al ou nuus.

    Koerante klink al hoe meer vir my na antieke geskiedenisboeke.

    Na die beste van my wete betaal die betrokke amptenaar self sy eie regskoste – hoe nou ánders?

    En sy regsverteenwoordiger was nie op Oudtshoorn nie – iemand het al weer die kat aan die stert beet wat al laasjaar afgekap is…

    Die amptenaar hét regsprobleme. Hy spreek dit dit aan met die hulp van kundige regslui. Hy betaal self die gepaardgaande kostes.

  4. While we are on the subject of politicians blemished and tainted, are we going to see anything on O!O regarding a senior Oudtshoorn municipal official who is the object of a Hawks investigation and whose lawyer people say has apparently spent the last week here in an expensive hotel to consult with the client. Also one wonders if
    O!O has any knowledge of how this official’s legal costs are being covered. Any truth to these rumours? Seeing that O!O has informants even in Leeuwenhof it follows that there are probably some reliable ones right here in the municipality who can point O!O in the right direction?

  5. One of the key findings of the ENS report is:

    “Van der Westhuizen committed fraud, forgery, uttering, breached the MFMA, exceeded his authority, abused his position, breached policies and procedures, failed to act in the best interests of the municipality, acted dishonestly, interfered in the administration of the municipality and breached the codes of conduct for councillors.”

    Athol Trollip (DA) said the following about a councillor who displayed what was probably no more than very bad judgement.

    “In terms of the Federal Constitution any member, including a public representative, is guilty of misconduct if he or she:
    2.5.3.4 fails to carry out his or her duties or responsibilities according to standards set by the Federal Council of the Party or of the relevant Provincial or Regional Council as embodied in the applicable Code of Conduct, or to standards required by any statutory rules of conduct required by the public office he or she holds;
    2.5.3.5 brings the good name of the Party into disrepute or harms the interests of the Party;
    2.5.3.6 acts in a manner that is unreasonable and detrimental to internal co-operation within the Party;
    The actions by Mr. Slabbert are contrary to the values of the DA and are condemned in the strongest manner.”
    There seems to be some conflict in the DA’s position.
    Ed, can you please send Trollip a copy of the ENS report and ask him for his comment to clear up the DA’s position.

  6. Willempie

    As ek geweet het wat aangaan in DA se eie interne displinere verhoor sou ek gesê het – wié weet!?

    Wat tans gebeur is wat gebeur as jy beginsels juggle – en te veel balle in die lug het.

  7. “According to Teflon Wessie, Eden Municipal Manager Godfrey Louw; Speaker Doris Nayler; MMC Johann Koegelenberg; and MMC Tertuis Simmers are conspiring against him and that no fair trial is probable in the circumstances.”

    Nou verstaan ek nie so lekker nie.

    Die Wessie verhoor is tog ‘n verhoor gelas deur die Speaker van Eden op gronde van die ENS verslag, nie waar nie? Wie sit voor in die verhoor? Is dit een of meer van die sogenaamde samesweerders of is dit ‘n buitestander? Die verhoor self kan tog sekerlik nie deur die Leeuwenhof mense oor besluit word nie? Moet die klagtes teen hom teruggetrek word of is dit net die DA wat besluit om nie binne die party se disipliene teen hom op te tree nie? Nie een van die genoemdes sal in iedergeval deel neem anders as miskien getuies en dan kan hy mos hulle getuienis onder kruisverhoor neem.

    Ek is confused, rerig. Die berig is baie onduidelik.

    Andrew. Wanneeer beplan jy om die kriminele klagtes aanhangig te maak? Lyk my dit is nou al uitweg as daar nie intern deur die DA opgetree gaan word nie en/of die DA gaan inmeng om te verhoed dat die munisipaliteit se tugproses voortgaan. Dan bly mos net die kriminele opsie oor en iemand moet dit doen.

    O!O. Se bietjie mooi duidelik vir ons: Wat gaan aan met die Eden disiplinere verhoor kragtens die code of conduct vir raadslede? Wat gaan aan met die DA se eie interne displinere verhoor? Skryf mooi stadig dat ek ook kan verstaan. Dankie.

  8. Pragtig, Slabbert goes and Teflon Wessie stays, PRAGTIG.
    Such double standards perpetrated by the DA against all SA voters is a clear sign of inner rot, and as we all know, a divided house WILL NEVER STAND !

    My boodskap aan ou Bredell, “Kortbroek Theunsie en “Teflon Wessie” solank as wat jul Kabouters aanbly in jul poste, bly die DA vinnig gly in die afgrond, die spoed daarvan deur julle self en ZILLE bepaalbaar.

    As n afskop, wanneer bedank jul drietjies , aag pleez Daddy, doen die regte ding, of is jul ook beinvloed deur Zuma- atrics ?? !!

  9. Die DA moet in vrees leef vir wat jy waarskynlik weet, mnr Baird.

  10. Truelly a sad moment in DA’s recent past here in Western Cape and Eden

    The values and principles the DA members and voters of the party believe in are being raped by its own leadership or its being applied selectively just to remind its supporters and members “we still care about our image”.

    How certain individuals can be forgiven, or their blatant lies believed, is shocking.

    My question still remains- why does former I’d members get protected by the DA’s senior leadership, but they show their loyal committed members the middle finger?

    Open Opportunity Society for All? Don’t think so

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