Drewan Baird works for the municipality

He earns millions!

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Drewan Baird. Oudtshoorn. 27 May 2013. 19h15. I thought I’ve heard it all when a Cape journalist called me this morning to enquire about the political situation is Oudtshoorn: Gaan Gordon April bly of gly!?

The journalist was referred to me by… Wait for it: Peter Pullen, Media Liaison Officer to Anton Bredell.

I broke down in laughter.

Noujatoe.

But crazier news soon found me!

I learned that one of Oudtshoorn’s foremost citizens breathlessly announced that Drewan Baird was the new Media Liaison Officer of the Oudtshoorn Municipality.

His outrage was shared by a DA councillor.

It’s illegal!

How can “daai donir” be appointed when he was still the municipality’s prime enemy a day ago!?

It’s not on the organogram!

Oy.

Ye gods and gnomes and broken eggs of fairy tales and eenhoring wyfies!

What about the quite competent Ntobeko Mangqwegqwe!?

People will believe any old applesauce.

By the way, I am editing the IDP for style, grammar and spelling. At a fee quite remarkably lower than alternative options.

But try as I might I can’t get into the cash resources at Verwoerdplein.

I have had a glass of what tasted awfully much like mango juice and a coffee, with a spot of milk and no sugar. Two drinks in some 5 visits.

O, and I’ve had four halves of walnut.

And, on Friday, while waiting and not billing time, I availed myself of the New Age.

I had prepared a few choice words for the wailers but thought the better of it.

I remind myself tonight of Lt. Col. A. D. Wintle, from the Cavalry Club, who wrote The Times on 6 February 1946:

Sir, I have just written you a long letter. On reading it over, I have thrown it into the wastepaper basket. Hoping this will meet with your approval. I am, Sir, Your Obedient Servant…

Source:
1999. Rees, Nigel.The Cassell Dictionary of Anecdotes. Cassell. London. 142.

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DREWAN BAIRD COMMUNICATIONSensaytional – 076 349 6316
Making sure they see it your way
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4 thoughts on “Drewan Baird works for the municipality

  1. Pletty…

    “In order to ensure economic viability and to not overstretch the already limited financial resources, and cash management strategy vacancies have been significantly rationalized downwards.”

    I’m only human…

  2. Nou is jy een van hulle! En dit verduidelik dan ook hoekom die Stellenbossers jou so in hul vertroue probeer neem. ‘n Vergunning wat jy halstarrig nie wil aanvaar nie.

  3. Hey, Ho! Congratulations to the Oudtshoorn muni for taking a sensible decision for once. Please take note other councils that you have an obligation to communicate CLEARLY.

    Little test for Mr Baird.

    Please translate the following:

    “In order to ensure economic viability and to not overstretch the already limited financial resources, and cash management strategy vacancies have been significantly rationalized downwards.”

  4. “Drewan Baird works for the municipality”
    Sorry, but he is doing their work for them !
    So glad the Municipality is approving of this only competent appointment and most budgeting saving measure !
    What is the rest of the Municipal “Manaaschmint and the Execuutiff” then doing with all their free time between 8am and 5 pm ?

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