A ‘pons asinorum’ for the ANC

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Drewan Baird. Oudtshoorn. 26 April 2013. 12h10. Gordon April is still the Executive Mayor of the Greater Oudtshoorn.

The Speaker has not received a resignation from April and no motion of no confidence has been filed.

The next council meeting is scheduled for May 31, although special council meetings may be convened from time to time to address urgent matters.

If April could have been palavered into stepping aside an NEC decision would not have been necessary.

Jesse Duarte, the NEC, and the entire ANC have been floored by the little upstart from Dysselsdorp. I, for one, don’t rate April, but he gets 10 out of 10 for spunk, pertinancy, and bloody-mindedness.

If he could only focus such energy on managing Oudtshoorn, he would be a damned good mayor!

Drewan Baird. Oudtshoorn. 24 April 2013. 18h45. Know this at the outset, so that there may be no chance to misunderstand my position: The ANC, in attempting to replace Gordon April with Pieter Luiters, created an environment for enormous internal strife that may very well harm Oudtshoorn even further!

Many have asked why O!O was so slow with the news of April’s demise.

Well, April is sitting pretty as I write.

He is going nowhere, except where his black official Kuga can take him in appropriate mayoral style.

Jesse Duarte f… fouled up.

April simply needs to refuse to vacate his office.

What can the ANC’s National Executive Committee do!?

April can not be summarlily removed either as a party member, or as a councillor.

(The ANC is not as good as the DA who has found spurious and meretricious ways and means to do just that!)

Is everyone in the ANC an incompetent fool, or what!?

Which brings me to the title of this story – a “pons asinorum” is a problem that severely tests the ability of an inexperienced person.

Of course the ANC never wanted April to be mayor – who in their right mind would wat him even to run a complimentary water fountain in the middle of the Sahara!?

But April held the ANC ransom. Either the ANC made him Mayor, or he’d leave and join the DA to give the “other side” a majority.

At the time April first joined the ANC he was the Independent Democrats’ Deputy Mayor and ambitious beyond his stature.

The political arrangement between the DA and the ID that brought the alliance to power after administration ended in 2007, called for the ID to take up the Mayoral seat during the latter half of the term. And the DA, and its Mayor at the time, Diane de Jager, wanted none of that.

April was further angered when the ID Leader, Patricia de Lille, his political “mother” to whom he was joined at the hip, if not spawned from the rhyming alternative, imported “grey matter and management ability” from the West Coast in the person of, wait for it… Wessie van der Westhuizen.

April, to his credit, realised that he was never going to become Mayor in the alliance and took a quick trip to the Syrian capital, was waylaid en route and blinded by the promise of power and pounds.

And voila: April realised that he was a comrade in black, green and yellow all along – not much different to Helen Zille’s current aha! about her political nearest and dearest.

The upshot was the loss of three ID councillors from DA-alliance ranks in April, Jurie Harmse, and Shepstone Billy.

April and Harmse retained their wards for the ANC in the subsequent by-elections and the hapless Billy, April’s father-in-law, became his daughter’s husband’s driver and body guard.

April turned to the ANC to be Mayor. It was the condition upon which he was blinded on his Damacsus dust track.

A few months later, after the May 2011 local elections, when the ANC wanted to rid itself of the arrogant little upstart, April was keen and ready to either become the DA Mayor, or take up a parliamentary position (a quite possible alternative in what may generally be refrred to as his “mind”), or take any job as long as it paid what a Mayor took home every 25th.

A local professional and I put a deal together that April just loved.

So good was this deal that April drooled over it.

Yet, on one of my daily perambulations at that time, during several telephone calls in the stretch between the corner of Noord and Jan van Riebeeck to the corner of Jan van Riebeeck and St John’s, some days later, Theuns Botha and Wessie van der Westhuizen managed to scuttle the solution.

No, Theuns and Wessie, you DO NOT want to take me on in this matter!

The DA would not accommodate April; the ANC did, and that was the difference in June 2011.

My attitude in this matter was that of Lyndon Johnson about J Edgar Hoover: “I’d rather have that man inside the tent pissing out than outside the tent pissing in.”

At this time April is doing what all politicians are past masters at doing: hiding behind processes.

Jesse Duarte did not follow the “right procedure”…

So April will remain untouchable for some time to come still – and be driving about the locations in that black Kuga, to the irritation of his adversaries.

Similarly Jurie Harmse, earmarked for demolition, will have a few weeks still to fester and lay his plans out.

What was Jesse Duarte thinking!?

Let’s assume that Duarte’s flawed intervention – she’s as useless as Anton Bredell! – results in an attempted motion of no confidence in April.

Will April sign the motion which requires 13 signatures to be tabled?

Remember, the ANC/Icosa/NPP has 13 members only.

What will the otiose DA/Cope do? They have 12 members.

There were rumours earlier today of a Council Meeting to be scheduled for tomorrow.

Nto-bekhou Mangqweqwe, the Council’s spokesperson, would not speak to the matter one way or another, so I am informed by a third party as I would no longer stoop to speaking to the clowns at Verwoerd Sq.

Councillors I have approached deny receipt of an agenda and therefore it can be said, at this time, that there will not be a council meeting tomorrow, Thursday.

Right now Gordon April is the Mayor of the Greater Oudtshoorn.

And unless he turns on his erstwhile friend, Harmse, Harmse will remain a Mayco member, serving at the Mayor’s pleasure.

In any event, which politician will stand up to Harmse’s missus, who created a public scene when her beloved spouse was not given position in June 2011!?

Who would have the orchises to fire Jurie and and p… provoke his missus!?

Jesse!?

Watch this space.

What a complete bunch of plonkers!

A pons asinorum for the ANC…

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One thought on “A ‘pons asinorum’ for the ANC

  1. Pragtig en in die kol gestel Ed! Jessie het nie ‘n idee wat in Oudn aangaan nie of sy was deur Putco en Songeso( Die provinsiale sekretaris). Hoe kan ‘n gesoute kameraad soos Jessie deur die pisbroeke mislei word? Julle moet ‘n einde maak aan hierdie k.k!

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