The ANC can cleanse Oudtshoorn. Why does it not act!? (With comment by one William Shakespeare)
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Oudtshoorn. 11 August 2012. 10h45. A single question remains unanswered:
Why does the friêdomoefmint not act to purge Oudtshoorn of the cullions it has installed to pillage our town!?
We know a few irrefutable facts already:
Gordon April (A knave; a rascal; an eater of broken meats; base, proud, shallow, beggarly, three-suited, hundred-pound, filthy, worsted-stocking knave; a lily-livered, action-taking knave, a whoreson, glass-gazing, super-serviceable finical rogue; one-trunk-inheriting slave; one that wouldst be a bawd, in way of good service, and art nothing but the composition of a knave, beggar, coward, pandar, and the son and heir of a mongrel bitch: one whom I will beat into clamorous whining, if thou deniest the least syllable of thy addition) can’t manage a decommissioned longdrop in the Richtersveld. The man can’t run a soapy finger up his own ass.
Thandekile Mnyimba (‘Sblood, you starveling, you elf-skin, you dried neat’s tongue, you bull’s pizzle, you stock-fish! O for breath to utter what is like thee! you tailor’s-yard, you sheath, you bowcase; you vile standing-tuck!) is unfit for office. Hell, the High Court confirmed the obvious on June 1.
The Mayco (A knot you are of damned bloodsuckers.), what with violence proned and unqualified, downright dumb members shouldn’t run a lemonade stand in die middle of the Namib.
The administration – Francois Human (You are not worth another word, else I’d call you knave); Deon Lott (For such things as you, I can scarce think there’s any, ye’re so slight); Ron Lottering (This sanguine coward, this bed-presser, this horseback-breaker, this huge hill of flesh!) and Zukiswa Ntile (Your abilities are too infant-like for doing much alone) – is the most hapless troupe of losers since the 50’s team that brought America the Edsel.
Oudtshoorn is imploding like a 90’s dotcom upstart in a neighbour’s tool shed.
Only one question remains unanswered:
Why does the ANC, that meridian of good governance; that pinnacle of spectacular service delivery; that freedom merchant extraordinaire; that democracy champion of the world, not deliver Oudtshoorn from the idiots who arrogate to run our town!?
Where art thou, Jacob (Teeth hadst thou in thy head when thou wast born, to signify thou camest to bite the world) and Gwede (Away! Thou’rt poison to my blood); and Trevor (Thou art a Castilian King urinal!) and cronies?
Why is Marius Fransman (Some report a sea-maid spawn’d him; some that he was begot between two stock-fishes. But it is certain that when he makes water his urine is congealed ice.) allowed to rape and pillage Oudtshoorn!?
Why Putco Mapitiza (I think thy horse will sooner con an oration than
thou learn a prayer without book)?
Why Songezo Mjongile (You peasant swain! You whoreson malt-horse drudge!)?
The ANC: what a spectacular underachieving collective disappointment. You blocks, you stones, you worse than senseless things!
Oudtshoorn deserves better than to be held ransom by political thugs and administrative halfwits.
Take a hike, ANC scum!
Begone ANC, arrogator of excellence, thou whoreson zed, thou unnecessary letter!
Avaunt, you cullions!
Shakespeare, in order of quotations:
King Lear (2.2.14-24)
1 Henry IV (2.4.227-9)
Richard III (3.3.6)
All’s Well that Ends Well (2.3.262)
1 Henry IV (2.4.225-6)
3 Henry VI (5.6.54-5)
The Merry Wives of Windsor (2.3.21)
Measure for Measure (3.2.56)
Troilus and Cressida (2.1.16-7)
The Taming of the Shrew(4.1.116)
Julius Caesar (1.1.36)
King Lear (2.2.61)
Henry V (3.2.20)
Ye gods and faeries, was not the Bard magnificent!!?